Scrap Yoga

MasalaMamas...a little bit of spice goes a long way!

03/08/2009

It's all about the Spice*

And I'm not just talking cooking. I'm talking about life, experience, places, discussions, memories, creations, challenges, visions, experiments, triumphs, failures.......these are the spices essential for the journey. As a mother, my journey is one that is constantly changing, because as I come to everchanging terms with myself, I grapple with the knowledge that I have two little me's walking around this world....how will they mix their own spices to make the most of life?

Welcome to MasalaMamas....a place filled with enchanting aromas of cloves, cardamom, and coriander. A place to discover, uncover, and share in the mama journey.  Are we spicy?  Just be sure to have a nice tall glass of water near by!

Namaste-

Rani 

04/04/2009

A letter to her son with a message

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

And I'm not just talking cooking. I'm talking about life, experience, places, discussions, memories, creations, challenges, visions, experiments, triumphs, failures.......these are the spices essential for the journey. As a mother, my journey is one that is constantly changing, because as I come to everchanging terms with myself, I grapple with the knowledge that I have two little me's walking around this world....how will they mix their own spices to make the most of life?

Welcome to MasalaMamas....a place filled with enchanting aromas of cloves, cardamom, and coriander. A place to discover, uncover, and share in the mama journey.  Are we spicy?  Just be sure to have a nice tall glass of water near by!

Namaste-

Rani 

04/04/2009

A letter to her son with a message

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

It's all about the Spice*

And I'm not just talking cooking. I'm talking about life, experience, places, discussions, memories, creations, challenges, visions, experiments, triumphs, failures.......these are the spices essential for the journey. As a mother, my journey is one that is constantly changing, because as I come to everchanging terms with myself, I grapple with the knowledge that I have two little me's walking around this world....how will they mix their own spices to make the most of life?

Welcome to MasalaMamas....a place filled with enchanting aromas of cloves, cardamom, and coriander. A place to discover, uncover, and share in the mama journey.  Are we spicy?  Just be sure to have a nice tall glass of water near by!

Namaste-

Rani 

04/04/2009

A letter to her son with a message

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

A letter to her son with a message

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

It's all about the Spice*

And I'm not just talking cooking. I'm talking about life, experience, places, discussions, memories, creations, challenges, visions, experiments, triumphs, failures.......these are the spices essential for the journey. As a mother, my journey is one that is constantly changing, because as I come to everchanging terms with myself, I grapple with the knowledge that I have two little me's walking around this world....how will they mix their own spices to make the most of life?

Welcome to MasalaMamas....a place filled with enchanting aromas of cloves, cardamom, and coriander. A place to discover, uncover, and share in the mama journey.  Are we spicy?  Just be sure to have a nice tall glass of water near by!

Namaste-

Rani 

04/04/2009

A letter to her son with a message

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

A letter to her son with a message

This is a letter written by a mom to her son on the dawn of a new era and a new president. It is beautiful and I wanted to share it here. This will be the start of a regular series called "Letters to our Kids." Enjoy! Thanks Emmer!

Hello Austin,

November 4^th, 2008 was a historical night, historical because 232 years after the birth of our nation, we have our first black president. More importantly, we had a magnificent election year; two of the smartest, strongest, and the most brilliant contenders were between a woman named Hillary Clinton and black man named Barack Obama. In the end, Barack won the primary and went on to win the election.

 

Soon after the election, daddy asked if I wanted to say something on camera to you about it. We both knew that it should be our responsibility to somehow capture this historical event for you since you are too young to remember. Dad was right, what I really wanted to do was to make a video of people who we consider as part of your family on how they felt about our new president. Given the fact that time is a luxury which we don’t have much these days, I thought a written note from the same people would be just as appropriate.

 

I was working at the firehouse on election day with three other firefighters: Kevin Kelly, Matt Fix and Andrew Whipple. The fire station was one of the polling places. I rode my bicycle to work with a huge smile on my face enjoying the beautiful weather. I greeted the poll workers and told them I had been giddy all week. They laughed and some of them agreed they too had the same feelings. It’s a feeling I can’t explain, I knew Obama had a very good chance to win, but I was nervous at the same time. I guess cautiously optimistic would be a good description.

 

By 4:00 pm, some of the eastern states’ poll places had closed and we were able to watch the results. McCain/ Palin won the first few southern states as expected, but states like Virginia, Ohio, and Florida, which all went republican in ’00 and ’04 started to shift towards Obama/Biden. By 8:05 pm, game over! We have a new president… Barack Obama! We all cheered and gave each other high fives! I screamed, I cried, and I jumped around like a little kid. Reading about history is one thing, but to actually witness it is an amazing treat.  We finally have someone who is smart, compassionate, competent and selfless to be the Commander in Chief. I had gone to bed that night the same way I started my day, with a huge smile on my face.

 

Even though our nation has finally chosen hope over fear, our state, sadly, had chosen bigotry over equality. Proposition 8, which would ban same sex marriage passed narrowly that same night. I will never know why it’s so difficult for some people to give others the same rights as they have. Austin, always remember this: Everyone deserves to marry with whomever they choose. It wasn’t too long ago (1967) people with different ethnic backgrounds were not allowed to get married. If that was still the case today, you would not exist. Dad and I would have never had a chance to be husband and wife.

 

I was 18 years-old when I became a U.S. Citizen and lucky for me, there was a general election that year (1988) between Bush Sr. and Dukakis. Your Gong Gong and Po Po taught your aunts and me the importance of voting and to never take that right for granted. And now, we are passing on the very same message to you. This election is a blue print of your future. Countless people made unthinkable sacrifices to ensure you have a brighter tomorrow.  Remember them and thank them by doing the right thing for those who’ll one day hold you accountable for your actions.

To the moon and back,

mommy

November 14^th, 2008

Davis, California

05/03/2009

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Mother of the Year

This was written by masalamama Jen Grexton, mother of three. Her email, "Mother of the Year," to me was too amazing not to publish and with her permission, here it is...enjoy!

Soooo...Freddy lost his first tooth Sunday night, and we agreed that since it was so late (and the Tooth Fairy usually needs more notice), we would wait until Monday night to put it under his pillow, write a note, etc.  He was very excited and thought about it all day yesterday.  He had a teacher write a note for him ("I LOVE you, Tooth Fairy, Love, Freddy [hearts]").  When we got home last night, Mark helped him add to the note ("Thank you for taking my tooth, Tooth Fairy.  I love you.  Love, Freddy.  I love you, Tooth Fairy")...kind of a one-track mind, but clearly the Kid loves the Tooth Fairy, this mysterious being who takes away old teeth and leaves behind shiny new coins and even shinier fairy dust.

 

I'd had a long day on Sunday, an early morning yesterday, and was pretty tired by last night, but I vaguely remember Mark giving me a meaningful, questioning look as he herded The Kids upstairs for bath time..."Tonight?  Tooth Fairy tonight?"  I said, "Yes, sure, that's a great idea, uh-huh."  Then I fell asleep on the couch.

 

This morning, when I got home after exercise and coffee, I started making lunches and could hear everyone else waking up and getting ready for the day upstairs.  Usually Jeffy comes popping downstairs first and just grins at me from the edge of the kitchen (where they're not allowed) until I see him and go over for my morning hug (a ritual).  Then Mark will wake up Anna and get her dressed next, and she'll come downstairs and start with The Questions ("What's for breakfast? What's for lunch?  Can we have our vitamins? Did you sign my reading log?  Can I have the spare change in your purse, and if I count it right can I keep it?"  That last one is a sneaky little trick her teacher taught her, and I have waaay too much change in my purse to let that Smart Girl count it all.  It reminds me of when my brother, John, used to empty his pockets on the counter top each day after work then tell me that, if I rubbed, scratched, rubbed, tickled, then scratched his back, I could have all of the money on the counter.  The day he realized there was over $10 in change on the counter is the day he started putting better limits on those requests.  Since I recently cleaned out an old purse and found $37.14 in loose change, I know better than to let Anna "count the change for keepsies".  Nice try, Kid.)  Anyway, after Anna, Mark will typically go wake up Freddy (who is a sound, hard sleeper), then get him dressed and they'll come downstairs for breakfast.

 

Back to this morning, I heard footsteps upstairs, followed by Mark calling down the stairs, "Loooove...?"  "Yeeaahh..?"  "Umm...could you come here a second?"  I head toward the stairs, he meets me halfway, and then I see the little envelope he's holding up, with the impression of a tiny tooth at the bottom of it.  I also see an almost sickly look on his face and a barely perceptible nod up the stairs, where Anna is standing and staring at me for my reaction.  I thought that Mark was trying to make the Tooth Fairy hurriedly appear before he woke up Freddy, but since Anna is only six teeth into the game, I knew that we couldn't magically make the tooth turn into a coin in front of her.  What to do...what to do...hmmm... Well, Freddydid end up coming into our bed in the middle of the night after a bad dream, so maybe the Tooth Fairy couldn't find him?  No, no, Santa and the Easter Bunny can always find the Kids, no matter where they are, so that won't work.  Maybe she didn't come because we didn't use the special tooth-shaped pillow that Anna has been using?  Nope, that's just setting a stupid precedent that I won't be able to maintain if I've lost the pillow by the time Jeffy starts loosing teeth.  I've got it:  Maybe, because Freddy lost his tooth early by knocking it loose as he tried to bite the lid off something he shouldn't have been into in the first place, the Tooth Fairy is teaching him "the consequences to our actions".  No, too cold-blooded.  I'll save dream-crushing for a later date.

 

To make an already long story a little shorter, we told Freddy that the Tooth Fairy was probably sick or on vacation.  Santa and the Easter Bunny only have to work one night a year, but the Tooth Fairy is on-duty every single night and she probably just needed a small break, but if he would try again tonight, she will probably come and maybe there will even be an explanation for her absence last night.  After a little moping (but thankfully no tears), he seemed to buy that story and I have a shot at redemption tonight.  I got the idea of fairy dust (glitter) from one of my coffee buddies, and another one has taken to writing letters from the Tooth Fairy in glittery pen, so I will try to find some special ink and paper today and write something appropriate.  Maybe he'll score an extra coin, too.

 

Here's to remembering traditions, and staying awake.  Wish me luck...

 

 - Mother of the Year

-Followup-

All went well, and the Tooth Fairy has been redeemed.  She wrote a special note to Freddy, explaining that St. Patrick started his celebration a week early, he's not a good cook, and his corned beef gave her a stomach ache so she had to call in sick.  She left extra fairy dust and a gold dollar.  Of course, they Kids outlasted me last night and I had to wait until the 1AM "wake up to go potty" call, which is when Mark finishes on the computer and wakes up Freddy to have him use the bathroom so he'll stay dry.  Last night, Mark woke me up first, then when he took Freddy to the bathroom, I made sure that Anna was still asleep (they share a room right now), then I found the special tooth pillow, dug that tiny little tooth out of the pocket, put the coin in the pocket, put the special note under the pillow, sprinkled fairy dust everywhere, and headed to my room.  But I still had the coin in my hand.  So I snuck back in his room and dug through the pillows again, thankful that Freddy is a hard sleeper and was probably trying to take a nap in the bathroom.  It turned out that the lid to the glitter container is flat and around the same size as a coin and, it being 1AM, I wasn't paying attention.  (Can you imagine what he would think of the Tooth Fairy if, for his first experience with her, he had to wait two nights, only to get a plastic disk and a stupid note about being sick?  "Mommy, the Tooth Fairy SUCKS!")  After triple-checking to make sure that I had the tooth and his letter to the tooth fairy and the glitter container with me, and that he had the letter from the tooth fairy and his coin and fairy dust, I snuck off to bed and Mark brought him back to bed.

 

This morning, I went upstairs loaded with cameras as Mark woke him up.  Tried to wake him up is more accurate.  It took Mark rubbing his back, Anna singing a little wake-up song to him, and me moderately yelling, "Come ON, the video tape is almost gone!" before he finally stirred, and it took a repeat performance from all for him to remember that he might have something worth checking under the pillow.  Wow, can that Boy sleep!  It was all worth it when he saw that he'd not been forgotten again.  I often think that there's not much that can compete with a sleepy baby waking up, but when your sleepy baby wakes up and breaks into a huge grin because something special is about to happen, well...that's good stuff.  Jeffy came stumbling in from his room and exclaimed, "I WANNA SEE FAIWY DUST!"  Then my video tape ran out, and it was on to other things, like lunches and getting dressed.  We were tardy again today, but I'll never remember being late for the 27th time this school year, and I will forever remember Jeffy's sleepy little demand, Anna reading the note out loud for her brother, Mark subtly flicking me for writing a dorky note about St. Patrick's lousy cooking, and Freddy's excited grin and the look of amazement in his eyes and he discovered what a little magic feels like. 

It was a good morning.

05/04/2009

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Desiderata

   Go placidly amid the noise 

and the haste, and remember

what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender 

be on good term with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others, even the dull and

ignorant; they too have their story.

Enjoy your achievements as well as

your plans. Keep interested in your

own career, however humble; it is a 

real possession in the changing forces 

of time. Be yourself.

   Take kindly the counsels of years,

gracefully surrendering the things of

youth. Nurture strength of spirit to 

shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with 

imaginings. Many fears are born of 

fatigue and loneliness. You are a child 

of the universe no less than the trees 

and the stars; you have a right to be 

here. And whether or not it is clear to 

you, no doubt the universe is 

unfolding as it should. Therefore be at 

peace with God, whatever you 

conceive Him to be; and whatever 

your labors and aspirations, in the 

noisy confusion of life, keep peace 

with your soul.

05/05/2009

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom! 

Not Sure who wrote, but so true

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. 
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. 
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom 

I had never been puked on.

  Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. 
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.  
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. 
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.  
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. 
I never knew that I could love someone so much. 
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. 
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. 
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, 
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was cap able of feeling so much,  

 

Before I was a Mom!